Do You Love What You Do?

When I coach, I go into the Zone, the place where my intuition tells me what to say next, what to ask, where to go with an issue, a question, a situation. Where does that Zone go when I am doing things I don't want to do, like going to Costco. Costco is a great store -- just too many people and too big a space for me. Some people are in the Zone in Costco -- I've seen it -- It's like they are at Disneyland! Does doing what you love put you in the Zone? Let me know. Zoned in, Coach Paula

From the Unclutterer

Simplicity and sincerity
Posted: 29 Jul 2009 04:30 AM PDT
My friend Harry gave me a copy of an out-of-print book from the 1950s that includes a chapter called “Simplicity and Sincerity.” The chapter is actually very short and doesn’t explain much, but the title of the chapter has stuck with me since the first time I saw it.
After taking notice of it, I’ve come to see how simplicity and sincerity are profoundly connected. The choice to live simply isn’t one of denial or exclusion, but rather one of being sincere in all of your actions.
Take for example an offer to sit on the board of a local charity. You might think that the charity does good work. You might want the charity to succeed. You might feel honored that the organization thought of you as a leader. You might even volunteer in single-day events a few times a year. But, if you don’t sincerely wish to partake in all of the meetings, planning, cultivating, and financial development that a position on a board requires, then you would decline the offer. Accepting the position would be insincere, both to you and the organization. In addition to wishing that you were doing something else with your time, you’d be depriving the organization of a board member who would be sincerely committed to participating.
I think about physical objects in a similar fashion. If I sincerely do not wish to put forth the effort to properly maintain and care for the item, then I don’t bring it into my home.
Being sincere with your actions makes it easier to live simply. -- The Unclutterer

A note: Do we count the lies we tell in a day? White lies, harmless lies, self-protecting lies? Is sincerity something that has gone out of fashion as a core value? Is it 1930's radio or 1970's politics? Is anyone sincere anymore? I hope sincerity will make a return as a cultural value. Sincerely yours, Coach Paula

Thicker Skin

One of my clients went to the San Diego Zoo and bought herself a stuffed rhino. I asked what the significance of a rhino was to her and she said she thought she needed to develop thicker skin. So, whenever she saw the rhino, she thought about what she could or would do if someone said something she didn't like. She told me that the first time, she reacted to a nasty remark with her usual feelings, but that she picked up the rhino and she redirected her attention to something positive. Within three weeks, she said, the nasty remarks had stopped. So, maybe the animal icon/symbol changed her energy so that she didn't attract any more nasty remarks. Try it and write me. Have a great day!

Client Slightly Crazy, Slightly Sad

One of my clients called to tell me that she was "slightly crazy, slightly sad." Since I am her coach, and not her therapist, I asked her what she wanted to do about it. She named some self-medicating interventions such as lighting a cigarette, drinking a beer, going to a bar and picking up a guy -- until I asked her what she wanted out of it. "Not to feel bad, of course," was her reply. So, I posed the million dollar question, "Will any of the aforementioned help you?" She laughed as she said no. So, we made a list of other options: shopping, chocolate, going to the pound and getting yet another cat (would be #4). Then, she had an epiphany. "I'm going to run it off -- all the craziness, all the sadness. With all the adrenaline, I won't remember why I went running in the first place." So, she called me two hours later, happily eating a vegetarian sandwich and drinking some healthy tea drink -- telling me that on her run she had seen an old friend and that they were going to get together and create some picture books online together of when they were in college. She didn't do anything -- she did something. And that action created a synergy which led to friendship, collaboration, an art project. She said that she still might be a little crazy, but she wasn't sad anymore. Find a coach and find your way!

Four Little Words

"Will it help you?" I paid $100 for these words of wisdom from a coach-in-the-making. This is a great question to ask yourself before making any decision. If, the answer is "No," then leave that fifth Oreo in the bag. There is an axiom in the Jewish world which says that if you have to ask, "It's already not Kosher," however sometimes you still need to ask. Even if it's asking yourself and answering truthfully. Sometimes, it's not that we don't know the answer, it's just that we still want the fifth Oreo.