Freedom in Structure

This is a great paradox -- if you want to be truly free -- live by the rules! Create a structure that is based on your values. A client recently told me a great story, illustrating the point. She was going to an afternoon wedding, at which the attire was "open season" according to the bride and the bride's mother. "Well, how inviting was that?" she said to me, with a wink in her voice. She had gone out and bought a beautiful long dress, multi-colored, with beading at the empire line. But she said she didn't feel comfortable. She thought that given the venue, she should tone it down and wear a black cocktail dress. She said that the next step was bringing both dresses, trying on the long dress (which she had conveniently forgotten to have shortened to the right length for her shoes), and deciding that she couldn't go through with it. It was the Bride's day, she told me triumphantly, and the bride would be the star! She said that she always liked to be wearing the prettiest dress in the room, but of course that wouldn't be the case, since the bride would be gorgeous. But it was the motivation, or intention that counted. She said that the extreme pleasure she felt in putting on a simple, but elegant, black street length cocktail dress made her day. No matter what, now, she wouldn't stand out. She didn't have to. I acknowledged her for her incredible insight and ability to put forward her true "best self." This was an object lesson about true beauty -- putting the feelings of others first. This is coaching. Have a great day! Coach Mierel (Paula)