Biulding Your Self-Image, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

#996 Building Your Self-Image One Tiny Step at a Time
There are special occurrences, situations, and opportunities that help build your self-image in a short time. However, it is more common to improve one tiny step at a time every day than to have quick progress in this area.

The daily question to ask yourself is: "What small improvement can I make now?"

(From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book: "Building Your Self- image and the Self-image of Others" (Artscroll) Chapter 16)

And for help and support in building your self-esteem, Life Coaching!

When you can, do!

Don't wait for the perfect time, the perfect place, the perfect opportunity! If you have an opportunity for something fun, profitable, growth-creating, helping someone else -- then do it!

Extreme Value

Not long ago I went to a dressy event. One of the principals was wearing an incredible dress. I thought, "That dress must have cost $1,000." When I complimented her on the attire, she said, "Oh, it was $768." No, I misunderstood. She meant $7.68. Clearance rack from a very high end store. Is this even possible? Her daughter told me that her mother does it all the time....You can live the life abundant and look great on very little if, 1) That is your intention, and 2) You put in the time. Needless to say, the wearer not only had a great dress, she had fun at the purchase as well as the event. Hold that thought! Life coaching for extreme value!

Lift Your Spirits, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

#945 Lift Your Spirits
Here are some ideas to help you feel better:

(1) Fill your mind with happiness-producing thoughts. Create an encouraging inner voice.

(2) Remember the positive moments of your life. Re-experience the positive feelings you had when you lived through those moments.

(3) Get in touch with your moments of strength. When you felt strong, how did you create those feelings?

(4) Increase your sense of meaning in life by doing meaningful things.

(5) Create enjoyable mental imagery. Visualize yourself being joyous.

(6) View your depressed feelings as a challenge that can eventually help you to elevate yourself.

(7) Find some positive way of looking at each event and situation in your life.

(8) Keep a diary of the good things that happen to you.

(9) Keep a self-mastery journal to give you a greater sense of empowerment.

(10) Engage in physical exercises such as brisk walking or running.

(11) List ten reasons why you can feel better even though you are experiencing difficulties.

(12) Each day, do acts of kindness for others.

(For a series of probing questions on this topic, see Rabbi Pliskin's "Gateway to Self Knowledge," p.193-7)

Action v. Delay

If you can't get going, get some help. A support system can help you get into action when you don't feel like it. Once you start, the energy of the movement wll propel you forward.

Spend it Wisely

Time is precious, so spend it wisely. It's one thing that you are not getting back... There were a group of ladies in Florida sitting around playing cards, dissing their husbands for snoring, being lazy, not helping around the house. All participated in the discussion, save one woman, a widow. When she could take the whining no longer, she finally stood up and said, "What I wouldn't give to hear my husband snore one more time." She then walked out of the room. She went to her computer and composed Evites to an Appreciation Luncheon. She invited all the dissed husbands of her ladyfriends. No plus-ones! Her friends were in a huff for a while, but when they relented and came back for cards -- it was with a new appreciation for their better halves. Appreciate what you have. Coaching an Attitude of Gratitude!

Living Poor

A woman at a cocktail party related the story of what had happened to her family since the economic downturn. Born into wealth, she had grown up with the best of everything -- clothes, education, travel -- she was able to have whatever she wanted. She had gone to an Ivy League college where she met her husband, also from a privileged background. They finished their educations, got married in a lavish wedding and moved into a luxurious house in a gated community. They had a child, a dog and the woman spent her time shopping and doing charity work. She described herself as a walking cliche of the upper class. Then, one day, all her husband's (risky) investments took a dive and they had nothing. She lamented that they were even prohibited by the CC & R's of their community from holding a garage sale. They had lost everything material. She told her then four-year old daughter, "I can't live poor," and she sunk into a deep depression. Meanwhile, she had had a huge household staff that she had to let go, including a nanny from Central America. The nanny said, "I wish I could help you more, but while you are recovering, your little girl can come live with me and my family." The father was spending his time hustling work, and since the mother couldn't get out of bed most days, she told the nanny that she would be grateful for the offer of childcare. She had no idea where the nanny lived, nor the living conditions there. So, the nanny packed up the little girl, whom she had practically raised from birth, and brought her to her own home. This was a small rented house with a vegetable garden in a modest neighborhood. The little girl missed her mother, but she knew her mother was sick and would come get her when she was better. So the little girl began a life of "living poor." Her clothes and toys were brought from home, but as children grow quickly, she was soon wearing thrift shop clothes, and playing with used toys. During this period, the mother would call, but never came by. The little girl noticed at first the lack of "amenities" (no pool, no butler), but soon forgot about the rest. The nanny had to seek day work cleaning houses and the little girl was cared for by her new "abuelita," grandmother. Six weeks turned into six months and then a year and then two. It took the father almost two and a half years to get back on his feet. During this time, the mother, reluctant for her former "friends" to see her in her impecunity, rarely ventured from the rented apartment she and her husband had obtained. Finally, the day came when the family had enough funds to rent a house and lease a nice car. They went to get their daughter. They happened to arrive during a family barbeque, where everyone was singing and laughing and having fun. The mother blanched when she saw the outside of the house. She could only think, "How could I have left my daughter here." The little girl was six now, in school and fluent in Spanish. When the mother rang the doorbell, the little girl was the one to answer the door. She didn't recognize her mother. The mother was mortified by the entire situation and burst into tears. "I have left you in poverty and you have suffered" she said to the little girl. The little girl said, "This is not poverty, this is living happy."

You are living in whatever state is in your head right now. Money buys comfort and convenience and status. But it doesn't cure depression, nor bring you laughter and love. The little girl stayed with the nanny. After two years, at such a young age, this was her home and her life. The mother was relieved not to have the "burden" of raising a child in reduced circumstances with no childcare. Who here was really living poor? Life Coaching to live rich at any income.