A New York Perspective

I'm blogging from one of my favorite cities, although I haven't really been here (except at the airport) in many, many years. My ideas of New York were culled from early Woody Allen movies (BC -- before the catastrophe) and other romantic comedies. New York is always so beautiful, so clean, so..., well, New York. (This, of course, is not counting Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro bloodbaths in the Big Apple).

So, my husband and I were walking around yesterday afternoon (what else do you do here?), when I spotted mounds of garbage bags on the sidewalks. "Why are those here?" I naively asked my better half. "They pick up garbage every day here," he replied. Now, I don't remember seeing bags and bags of trash gracing the sidewalk in "You've Got Mail, " or any other movie with Meg Ryan looking perky in it. Then, it was like, "Oh, of course, what did I think they did with all their garbage from their multitudinous skyscrapers?" I didn't think about it. I didn't think about a lot of things -- like what it would feel like to ride 12 blocks in a cab that was about 1/4" from the next closest vehicle. Or that I would get to speak French every day because this is the summer and Manhattan is filled with tourists and Paris is deserted....I didn't realize how happy I would be to see a few dogs, and how "normal" everyone looked. People in shorts and t-shirts and flip-flops, just like where I live. And then I realized, this is Real New York -- where people live, work, go to Starbuck's, get their mail, and even are interred eventually. (We did walk by the first NY cemetery). And, people were friendly! Of course, most of the people with whom I spoke were tourists, foreigners, actually, but still....In other words, I got a good lesson in "Perspectives in Reality" as I enjoyed all the sights and sounds NY has to offer. I believe in real NY -- and that's a great perspective! Ciao! Paula

Life Coaching 101, Again

There seems to be a sector of Life Coaching, not mine, that is proponent of a "get-rich-quick" mentality. Although I have read about it, seen it, been around it for over thirty years, it is not my metier. I recently received a "free gift" from another life coach. It was a pdf file about something --- but the first sentence was, "Why aren't you rich yet?" I thought this was pretty presumptuous. How does this coach know how much money I have or don't have? And why was she presuming that no one on her mailing list was "rich?" Is she rich? (She didn't say, and she didn't define rich). This is where I part ways with this type of thinking, philosophically. Are you safe, warm enough, food in the frig? A job to go to? Paying your bills? Have a family? Friends? Good Health? A pet? Someone to love? If the answer to any of the above is yes, then in my book, you are rich. In my spiritual tradition (paraphrased) "Successful is the man who is happy with his lot in life." This is not to say that you shouldn't make an effort to further your education, job skills, investing or other means of generating income. But you don't have to be "rich" to be happy, successful or fulfilled. As a Life Coach, I hear many things that people want to do to change their lives. But so far, no one has said they want to be rich. If you truly want to be financially well-off, that is a whole different Oprah. Don't let anyone shame you when it comes to money. Your money is between you, God and the IRS. And let it stand at that for now. My best to you all.

By Design

How would it be to "do" life through the perspective of living "By Design?" Living by design is simply designing and creating a life -- consciously, one decision at a time. Designing a life is similar to designing a logo, designing a new living room, designing a swimming pool. Designing involves conceiving, conceptualizing, sketching out, creating a plan, trying out different swatches of color, until the right combination of factors coalesces into a finished product, into a realized dream. Designing, like life, is often a process of trial and error. But designing involves conscious decision, thinking and acting. Designing your life can be creating something that you want, using the resources and resourcefulness that you have. One kind word, one brave deed, one thoughtful action can change a world. Design your world.

It's Over

I actually had a great time! The food was great, the friendship the best, the event better than expected. I wore a long coat and a blanket and I was fine! (Other people were out there in shorts). There were a few unexpected surprises. An audience member had brought his/her cat in a carrier, apparently, so the cat meowed during the event. (I thought it was cute -- can't speak for the other attendees). It was a very nice evening -- one I'm glad I attended. One thing really stood out to me -- the friendliness of the people. That made the night.

What Did You Expect?

A friend emailed us and asked if we wanted to go to a social event. It was a cultural event, involved dinner, and a patronage feature. Thinking it sounded great, I was all for it. We paid for the tickets and went on with our lives. When the day of the event arrived, I realized that ; 1) It was outdoors and I was expected to wear a dress; 2) It would be freezing cold; and, 3) The event would last about 6 hours. (And, the reviews were lukewarm to boot). But we were commited. We had paid, made plans with friends and were expected to show up. Also, I hadn't factored in the drive -- an hour each way. Now, I could always bring a coat and a blanket, and leave before the end, but I got to thinking about what had gone through my mind at the time I made the decision. It sounded like fun, I figured it was summer and would be "kind of" warm out, and that it was for a good cause. But, I realized, that this event, like many things, sound great in the abstract. There were other factors to consider here as well -- maybe it was just my attitude. Maybe it would be fun, that I would like it more than the reviewer had. Maybe there would be interesting people there, or business contacts. Maybe there were lessons to be had. What (besides the cold) made me change my attitude from excitement to dread? I'll let you know when it's over.

LIfe Coaching -- Reality Check

How do you decide on a Life Coach? You've seen a million websites, read all about coaching, even taken advantage of some free trial sessions. But how can you know for sure? You can't. You have to trust your gut, after speaking to a prospective coach, that he or she is the one for you. It is a very subjective decision. Unlike other fields, like medicine or law or teaching, life coaching, a relatively new field, is not yet regulated by the government. But are there things to look for? Definitely! No real life coach promises anything. How can he/she when it is the client who determines the agenda, makes the commitments and takes the action? But, you might want to find out if your coach-to-be walks the walk. Is your coach on time, at an appropriate weight, paying his or her bills, living his or her dreams? Is it fair to ask these questions? Can't someone help you when they cannot help themselves? (After all, how many food critics are chefs)? These are questions you will have to consider for yourself. When I was choosing my Life Coach, I started out with two. Both were very nice, and helpful. But the one I chose was one I felt was more compatible with my lifestyle and closer geographically, in case I ever wanted to meet her. I stay in touch with the other one -- she is very sweet-- but my life coach has taken me places I never dreamed I could go in the coaching process. And I hope that I do the same for my clients, as well

Traveling Lite

I am actually going out of town without my computer. It can be done. My husabnd assures me that I can make it 28 hours without going online. After all, we've done it before, haven't we? The good thing is that, for the first time, I am going on a trip where I didn't buy any new clothes, and I am traveling very light. It is a relief -- going simple. The best thing I'm taking is a nylon Baggallini tote bag that will serve as a shopping bag (first call to duty), pool bag, cosmetics bag and/or purse. It has shoulder straps and a zippered pouch in front big enough for cell phone, keys and lipstick. And, in the event, it's not needed (not likely), it folds up neatly into a small bag that fits into a suitcase. Have a great weekend and remember, keep it simple! Coach Paula